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Secrets of Dating a Rich Man

So let’s say you’ve taken up dating a rich man. Remember your mother always said “It’s just as easy to date/marry/have a rich man as a poor man. Mom was not good with math and never could figure out how many more poor men there are than rich men. But say you’ve got one. This is bragging rights, of course. But does this guy have any qualities but being rich? How about honest? Faithful? There’s always good looking. Unless you think the money makes anybody good looking. Is he friendly? Can he get along with your friends? Your parents? Is he hard working or does he have enough money so you are stuck with him all day every day? Will he hit you?

How much money qualifies as rich, as in dating a rich man? Is he chock-a-block in wonderful qualities like helping the poor and handicapped? Does he kick puppies? Kill animals and hang their poor dead heads in the living room? How long, exactly, under the present circumstances will the money last? Is he likely to spend it on you ? Are you likely to save it?

If you are dating a rich man, what do you suppose his dating goal is or was? Barbie doll? Is that you, or are you just a temporary stopping point? Does he want someone to show to his parents and move in his social class? Is that you? Can you tell one fork from another on the dinner table? Can he? Think about your own qualities. Was he out looking for someone with your qualities, or is this some fluke-y thing? In which case it won’t last long, dearie.

Normally, couples look for things they have in common. Would be nice if that were true in the game of dating a rich man. But if there’s a common interest in good food for example, can you tell what you are eating in front of his friends at a fancy French restaurant? On the other hand, think how it might feel not to look at the prices on the menu. Some fancy restaurants used to give women menus without prices so they wouldn’t think about anything as low class as money, and assume the guy can pay no matter what. Probably that kind of eating wouldn’t get old, but it might make you fat, and without knowing what he was looking for, you may be in trouble. Even if he got fat, too, everybody would expect you to take it off.

If his only goal in life is making money, you’re going to be alone a lot because making money takes time. Even bank robbing takes planning time. If he doesn’t care how you spend his money, think carefully about whether he means that. If he does, poor you, your life spent at the beauty salon, the jewelers, the dress shop, and the shoe store. Oh my yes, the shoes. Just the thought of the shoes is enough to make dating any rich man seem really OK.

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